Ruthlessness

Something I was supposed to have when I stepped into that ring but I didn't quite measure up...yet again.

Aggression

Something that I've been continuously pushing back and ignoring because I think my real strength lies in my skills

Abundance

Is what I would say describes how much anger boils inside me as I drive in my rental toward the house that two of my closest friends share. I'm angry at Laura. I'm angry at Drake. But most importantly, I'm angry at myself for not being everything I was before.

I've often tried to tell myself that the things I did while I was in BRC made me weak but really...when I was with them I was at my strongest. I was Sin City champion. I was with a man that complemented me. With a group that knew what it meant to seize what they wanted and not care who they stepped on to get it.
With Jax's sudden re-appearance I can't help but have a flood of old emotions come slamming back into me. I thought I was over this, over HIM....but I wasn't...despite how fiercely I was in love with Drake and how much I fucking hated his guts as well right now...I just couldn't not feel that Jax would always hold a piece of my heart, even if he hadn't known it was his to begin with.

I knock on the door once and enter. I hear the buzz of a TV and follow it. Roxxy is lounging on the sofa, a hand resting on a newly acquired baby bump, not too big yet as I know she's only about 16-17 weeks now but on her small frame it still looks like she's swallowed a medium sized ball. She still hasn't noticed me as she watches the program with an intense glare. I smirk when she throws a piece of popcorn at the screen.

"Booooo.... You're a pig-headed asswipe....."

"Well I know but you don't have to point it out so painfully...." I provide and Roxxy finally takes me in. She smiles from ear to ear, getting up a little slowly to tightly hug me.

"When did you get in?" she says after letting me go

"Oh about an hour ago. I stopped and picked up something to eat before coming. I don't know how long I'm staying exactly but I needed to get away...even for one night."

She nods and waddles a little back to the couch and pats the seat beside her.

"Come on...tell me all about it while we catcall the guests on Jerry Springer. I never realized how awful this show was but it's like a train wreck...you can't look away..."

I chuckle to myself as I sit.

"Now tell me...why did you run away from home? I know it's not just because TJ was whining on twitter to you...there's something else bothering you. I can tell...you know you're not very good at hiding your emotions."

"So I've been told." I reply dryly.

"So, spill it..."

"Jackson Blaze has come back."

"What? Really? Well that's fucked up."

"Tell me about it."

"Ok so your old bed buddy returns...has he been bothering you or something?"

"No, He hasn't even said boo to me yet, but I know it will come."

"Ok...but what else...is it the loss to Drake?"

"You bet your cute little ass it is. I hate this. I love him but I want to strangle him with that stupid thing too. He had the nerve to ask me to lie down for him in that match and as hard as I fought for it, I still lost and now...now I look like a fucking fool. I'm tired of looking like an ass because I can't keep or win a title around here. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me."

"It's called Domestication."

"Oh come on, that's not even a real bloody word."

"Yes it is. I made it up, so my word is law in the Pain household so from this day forward it is a word. You have set yourself up as the little mother of the AoA and all the people fighting against the movement are seeing that you're not a threat. That you're just some girl that's fucking Drake Hunter. They don't' take you seriously anymore."

"That has to fucking change!"

"Sure does because you could lead a fraction on your own. In fact why don't you take some lead from now on. What has Drake really done so far with things? Have you taken over anything like you've been saying you would? Is The AoA really in control of MPW?"

I shake my head. No. We weren't in control of anything except a few title belts....and now we were three short instead of just 1.

"So you should get those lazy asses off your couch, hide the beer, bury the COD disk and tell them it's time to actually do something about it. You want the Roxi Johnsons and the Ash Soulsfates to take you seriously again? Then be a fucking leader."

"Drake won't just sit back and let me take control."

Roxxy has a slow steady smile creep up her face.

"You forgot that we're women Kahlan. We may not always be right in front but we're always controlling things in the background. You just have to keep planting the seed. When you're alone, tell him what you want to see happen. Tell him that if he doesn't do it than you'll go out there and do it yourself. Tell him that you will no longer be idle. It's time to do some work."

I look at my friend in awe.

"When did you get so smart?"

She shrugs.

"I've been known to have a moment of clarity now and again. But you get what I'm saying right? You want another chance at the world belt then you get out there and you decimate that company. You actually don't need a belt to prove that your the toughest damn chick there. Like you always say, that belt is just a token given to someone with the most popularity."

"What's that say about Drake then?"

She shrugs again.

"You guys don't need those stupid belts to be a force to be reckoned with. Sure it's nice to have it and know that only the best can acquire it but really...it's just a piece of leather and metal. It doesn't prove anything but the fact that Drake beat Ash for it...and that he retained it after beating you. Doesn't make you any less of a person because you lost, it just means that you have more training to do to beat that particular person....you can still make people fear you. You know what you have to do..."

"I have to let her take control."

Roxxy nods. I'd talked to her at length before about my anger and how after the AM classes I still couldn't completely let her out. First it had been the elastics keeping her at bay and now, it was my own stupid distraction habits like baking. I loved to bake, don't get me wrong and I was fucking awesome at it but I had been using it as a way to try and appease that antsy little tigress inside me that want to get out and rip the shit out of something and eat its guts. Where had old Bliss gone?

"I know that you can destroy anybody in that company, including your boyfriend. Love or not...doesn't matter. Keep that shit at home."

*~*

It wasn't until I was driving back home from the airport the next day that it struck me so violently that I had to pull over for a few minutes. The anger coming back full tilt.

By the time I pulled into my driveway and turned off the car the anger was so seethingly red hot that I needed to beat someone senseless. I hadn't been this bad in years. Not since I'd almost killed my boss. I needed to get out what was on my chest and it was going to be directed at the people in my house right now.

I storm into the house, making sure that the door closed loud enough that pictures rattled on the walls. As I predicted, the group of them are all sitting in my living room, laughing and joking over their game. Immediately Drake is on his feet the moment he sees me. He tries to hug me but I don't reciprocate. He steps back looking just as angry as I am.

"What's your problem? I thought going to visit Roxxanne was suppose to quell some of that. You can't still want to kill me...it's all part of the plan..."

I cut him off.

"I've been hearing for weeks how this and that are all part of 'the plan'" I use quote fingers but I'm sure he gets me just by the sarcastic tone of my voice."But lets face it the most productive anybody has been is sitting on that fucking couch, drinking a case and a half of beer every couple days and play Call of Duty. If we're so fucking great that people should fear us...then why aren't we out there terrorizing little miss GM. Why aren't we doing things to bug little miss superhero. No wonder no one is taking us more seriously. If this is what being part of this group is all about then I want out."

"You're seriously going to break up with me over this...because Chris and Andre like to play Xbox and because we all enjoy having some fun? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say since you said you'd take the belt from me...."

There's an arrogant, condescending tone to his voice mixed in with some amusement at my state, but that all disappears when he doesn't have time to finish, I Slam him hard into the wall. I notice out of the corner of my eye that Andre and Chris have stopped playing now to watch, in wide eyed wonder, "Listen here. I am done standing by and playing little house mother. I'm done just shoving my anger down inside while you guys get to play at being these warriors for a cause. I joined AoA because I wanted to see action. I wanted to be a part of that change. So let's stir this shit up already. We're done just warning people about what we're going to do, it's time to do what we said we're going to do and the first thing is to take back control of OUR show. Johnny Clash and Laura's time is done...it's time for AoA presents MPW. So you better start thinking honey."

I expect Drake to be angry with me but instead he grins like a Cheshire cat from ear to ear.

"There you are. I was wondering when you'd be back."

I roll my eyes at him.

"No seriously. This woman...this woman right here...she's been hibernating since you almost broke you knee in November. I don't know what the fuck happened to her after that but I must say, I enjoyed docile, unresisting Bliss very much but I will love Angry unleashed Bliss ever so much more. Maybe now...if you keep this up...you might just get enough stones to beat me one of these days."

I grab his chin and force him to look down at me. His face is a mix of amusement and seriousness. He still believed that I wasn't a threat. That would change...oh he could bet his sweet toned ass it would.

"I'll do more than beat you."

There's a certain spark to his eyes when I say that. Without even looking in the direction of where Chris and Andre have been watching us, now open mouthed, added to the fact that their wide eyed wonder has had them in stunned silence for the last few minutes, he speaks to them directly.

"Get the fuck out of my house..."

Chris starts to protest and point to the screen where his game is in progress.

"I don't care about your game...just get your shit and go."

Both men grumble but eventually we can hear Chris's little rust bucket and Andre's truck leaving our driveway. We're both silent until we know for sure that they've both left through the front gate. I look back to Drake and he smirks again before grabbing me forcefully and switching our positions, slamming me almost as equally hard against the same wall he'd been pinned against only seconds ago.

"Now...how exactly were you going to beat me?"

Maybe this would be fun....

In my head a voice begins to speak as Drake and I act out on what the anger has invoked not only in me but in him as well.

You have no idea what I'm going to do to have fun around here Kahlan. Thanks for finally letting me off the leash, prepare to be the queen once more.

*~*

It all ends and begins with this...

This moment.

Everyone is about to witness the changing of the guard in MPW.

The time for Revolution is upon us.

You've all been given enough time to prepare, to choose your side. You're either with us, or you're against us. There is no neutral ground. There is no middle lane.

All those that oppose us will suffer the consequences of their choice. The Dawning of the Age of Arrogance began months ago, now the sun has risen and we are taking back what is rightfully ours.

It starts now.

I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change.

You Roxi Johnson are afraid of what the AoA can do if we gained control. And not because you're some super hero. Not because you're noble or that your incredibly naive and stupid when it comes to the power we possess around here, no you're afraid that once we have complete dominance, we're going to strip you of everything you need to keep your insignificant little career afloat.

You've claimed before to not fear me, to not fear Drake, to not even fear the awesome power of what the Age of Arrogance is about....but to live in a world without fear...well that ignorance will not excuse you from it...denial of fear does not make you a hero Roxi, if anything it makes you a coward.

Fear.

Fear is a great weapon. It can be used against you but you can always make it work for you. My fear is that one day Roxi, you will be in a world heavy weight title match and that you will have a chance to win it....

And if that happens...

Well then this whole business goes to shit.

So while it's your mission to see that we don't get power here, it is mine to see that you stay right where you are...or if I'm lucky...even lower.

Nothing about you has changed. You still stand upon your broken pedestal while the rest of the world crumbles around you...but yet you still remain oblivious to it.

Your empire is about to fall. Fall to the higher power and you have done nothing to stop it. You think that your speeches have somehow wormed their way into our minds...into mine in particular.

Shit, your cockier than me....at least by going around thinking that the Sin City title makes you a Queen....but yet...most people still say 'Roxi who?'

The pinheads in that office think that you as a champion makes them look good.

Well you know what I think...I think you're just going to run that title into the ground...kind of like you did for the TV division.

But Since your so determined to rise up against us, despite of how much truth I spit at you, with your little pathetic army of one, then I will send you back to the pit you crawled out of...that same TV division.

There was one line you said last week was that you didn't see how I deserved a world title shot since you beat me...well I will say it again, how did you deserve a Sin City shot when you lost your TV title to Jason X?

Don't throw stones when you live in a glass house little girl. You're libel to have your throat cut.

Can I have that honour? Pretty Please....

Revel in those past wins against me Roxi because you will never get one again. Hold on to that belt like the life raft it is because as soon as you lose it to someone bigger and better, which is pretty much everyone here, you will drown. That belt is the only thing keeping you relevant right now. Even when you had the TV title no one knew who you were then either and when it was explained there were a dozen jokes, some laughs were had and then everyone went on with their day like it had never been discussed at all.

But you know...you should be thankful that people even make jokes about you...I mean...could be worse...you could be Chris Michaels...

We've made you relevant Roxi and you know why?

Because whenever anyone hears your name thoughts automatically go to me, go to the AoA. Your name will forever be synonymous with us.

So if you wanna kill yourself over that piece of truth...let me make a suggestion...I hear the Golden Gate Bridge is nice this time of year...

Consider yourself lucky though, not many have the honour of having their names next to ours besides those who follow the movement.

And I know exactly what your next promo will go, give me a second here; [clears throat]

Blah Blah Blah...I'm Sin City Champ...blah blah blah...I'm better than Bliss...Blah blah blah...I hate Drake Hunter...blah blah blah...I will die trying to take out AoA...blah blah blah

It's the same tired shit over and over again. You could try picking up a thesaurus at least.

Try as you might Roxi this is evolution.

Survival of the fittest.... but somehow you managed to escape the natural selection process...like the cockroach...you know how hard it is to kill those bastards...they survive without their fucking heads for crisssakes.

But...you've had your time. However short lived it's been.

The future is our world.

The future is our time.

It's time to stand aside and give in to the fact that this rebellion you're forming...this little club you have which has it's own little plastic decoder rings and felt masks...ya it's cute really...but you know it's futile to stand against us right?

And let me shatter your dream here a little [whispers] the rings don't work!

You'll simply be another casualty of your own war. We had nothing against you until you stood on your soap box and proclaimed yourself the 'saviour' of MPW. This could have all been avoided had you just kept your head down...heck we might even have accepted you into the fold even...

Wait... [laughing] What the hell did I just say...sorry about that....we'd never accept you...pfft. That must have been the old Bliss coming out. You'd never be or have ever been good enough to even wipe my ass, let alone be a part of the greatest movement that ever graced the ring of any wrestling organization known to man.

You are in way over your head but somehow you always manage to barely keep your head above water....[pinches her index and pointer together with a small space]

Head... [laughing] I just can't get the image of your head on a cockroach body...

But, I'm about to finish this Roxi.

When I'm done taking you out on Thursday you'll realize that we were right and I will take great joy in your grovelling at my feet. The feet of the goddess and the rightful Queen of MPW.

You'll see.

Everyone who doubted us will see.

Thursday brings with it an abundance of possibilities and definites. One of those is that I will leave you for dead and there will be no one to help you up Roxi. Not even your Tag partner.

Which brings me to Madd Katt.

A man that couldn't cut it as a manager, a General manager or even as a decent competitor as we saw with your loss last week. I'm starting to think that you didn't really give a shit about AJ Stark...it was all just to worm your way back in here...doing exactly the same thing that Bill Adams is doing by investing stock in Trey Baxter and Jackson Blaze.

You hold on to a dream that never really existed.

I can legitimately see why Clash dumped your ass now.

He did more for his self after you were out of the picture than you did for him while he was under your wing. Must have been pretty suffocating with all that fur you have...

Old man, just admit it...your time is finished. You will never get the same glory you did 25 years ago. Why do you even bother?

I'm amused at how completely obvious you are with your intentions. You want your job back. Maybe you want a world title shot just to see if you're still up to snuff.

Let me save you the time and energy....

You aren't.

This is completely ridiculous, what is this how you deal with a midlife crisis? You're sitting at the old folks home with your decaying wife, wondering how your grown children are why they just can't be bothered to visit anymore and then suddenly...you just think 'hmm...I wonder if I could win a title in MPW now'

And then...that whore of a GM sees fit to actually give you a match this week...you're not even on the freakin roster for fucks sake!

This is exactly the kind of bullshit we're trying to rid the wrestling world of. People like you that think they're shit don't stink...that they can just waltz into any wrestling promotion, flash their seniors discount card and bingo bamo you're suddenly a Sin City Contender?

Tell me Madd Katt...did you have no remorse for the dozen or so people that actually deserve a title shot? That have worked their tails off for a shot and then see you bring your old wrinkled ass in here and hop...sorry...your not much for hoping these days are you...how about clamoured...ya clamoured works... into a match that wasn't even yours to begin with.

Showing any other old washed up piece of shit that if they want to get back into the top tier all they have to do is mentor a new star and then double cross him at the first opportunity.

Shame on you MK.

You washed up decrepit piece of shit!

And so, it is within my right to take action when hostile forces threaten me, since...you're trying so hard to stand without your walker and raise a finger at me. I don't give a shit if you think I'm good...and I care even less that you think I'm downgrading myself by being a part of this movement. I will not be defined by that...I give [b]myself[/b] definition when I step out there each week and continue to take down these [uses quote fingers] pillars of strength and virtue.

Without even realizing it MK you've entered yourself into someone else's war...and so...you will be disposed of quickly so that we can move on to the bigger issue.

You and Roxi may believe you are martyrs but here's the thing Martyrs are overrated.

and unnecessary.

Martyrs are created as a way to make people believe something that isn't true. It's so fantastic because someone gave their life for an ideal and because giving yourself to that is such a great task...you just can't help be hold them in high regard. Revel in their goodness....

Tell me something guys...where's your shroud? Your holy grail? Your disciples... there is no gospel according to Madd Kat... no song of Roxi.... No... there is simply two people who took it upon themselves to declare, without asking the people I might add, that they were their saviours...

Don't you think they should decide that?

This show....this company is now in the possession of the AoA

We're going to show these people what you don't want them to see....going to show them�a world without the bullshit, a world where anything is possible.

Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you...so be smart boys and girls...